I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
