he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
