I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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