the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize