Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize