I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
