goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
