I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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