Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
