Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
