I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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