onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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