The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize