I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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