I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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