I look better un-naked...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
