i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
