i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
