Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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