Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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