PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
