I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
