Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
