made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
