Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
