quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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