I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
