Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

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(818): She made Precious look like a solid 6.5. http://tfl.nu/qn24

Replies (32) Good night (672) Bad night (5837)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb

Replies (99) Good night (930) Bad night (15964)
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(727): View more from Florida

how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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(727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh

Replies (42) Good night (10288) Bad night (1232)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(270): Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad. (1-270): You should've just screamed yes we can! http://tfl.nu/ng19

Replies (52) Good night (9052) Bad night (1605)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.

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(757): It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it. http://tfl.nu/6y9b

Replies (36) Good night (5746) Bad night (1137)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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(814): there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit. http://tfl.nu/3q7y

Replies (4) Good night (2503) Bad night (682)
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(831): View more from California

YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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(831): YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL. http://tfl.nu/sk5h

Replies (21) Good night (1718) Bad night (687)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

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(262): Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward. (262): I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win. http://tfl.nu/2vvo

Replies (18) Good night (709) Bad night (1704)
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(518): View more from New York

I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.

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(518): I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them. http://tfl.nu/sunc

Replies (5) Good night (2467) Bad night (550)
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(831): View more from California

He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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(831): He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?! http://tfl.nu/h0ux

Replies (20) Good night (551) Bad night (1164)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out

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(609): So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out http://tfl.nu/p08d

Replies (12) Good night (1252) Bad night (476)
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(858): View more from California

I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail

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(858): I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail http://tfl.nu/x9sf

Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (376)
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(904): View more from Florida

It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.

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(904): It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo. http://tfl.nu/jdtj

Replies (9) Good night (2193) Bad night (432)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.

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(703): Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/fi6z

Replies (0) Good night (1038) Bad night (498)
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(514): View more from Quebec

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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(514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr

Replies (14) Good night (758) Bad night (611)

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