It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra