Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
