Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

(1-313): View more from Michigan

but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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(313): sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test (1-313): but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know. http://tfl.nu/w4h7

Replies (26) Good night (541) Bad night (3247)
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(630): View more from Illinois

the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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(630): the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever. http://tfl.nu/uuz9

Replies (9) Good night (5912) Bad night (867)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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(414): I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics" http://tfl.nu/bnvl

Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (3822)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i don't really know how much tequila is too much

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(815): i don't really know how much tequila is too much http://tfl.nu/p5o7

Replies (16) Good night (4359) Bad night (1590)
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(712): View more from Iowa

buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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(712): buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks. http://tfl.nu/xy6a

Replies (5) Good night (3305) Bad night (843)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

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(412): We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you. http://tfl.nu/7kee

Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (526)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

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(770): I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration. http://tfl.nu/fur7

Replies (7) Good night (1703) Bad night (659)
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(586): View more from Michigan

It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.

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(586): It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying. http://tfl.nu/5saj

Replies (7) Good night (922) Bad night (3050)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.

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(678): I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j7y2

Replies (4) Good night (2722) Bad night (821)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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(732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1

Replies (6) Good night (2037) Bad night (695)
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(718): View more from New York

If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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(718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y

Replies (9) Good night (1584) Bad night (569)
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(310): View more from California

I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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(310): I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it. http://tfl.nu/9g38

Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (293)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.

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(202): BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work. http://tfl.nu/abpr

Replies (27) Good night (490) Bad night (2232)
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(516): View more from New York

I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.

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(516): I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams. http://tfl.nu/a235

Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (246)
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(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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(432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9

Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (233)

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