I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
