I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
