I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
