I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got so high we made milksteak
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
