heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize