For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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