You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
