So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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