come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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