I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
