Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.

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(209): View more from California

I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
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(817): View more from Texas

I really wanna talk..

(1-817): View more from Texas

if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong

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(701): View more from North Dakota

and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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(563): View more from Iowa

Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.

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