Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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  (484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc
  Replies (83) Good night (1037) Bad night (4064)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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  (757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5
  Replies (15) Good night (3970) Bad night (1267)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

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  (541): I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album. http://tfl.nu/to1v
  Replies (10) Good night (1335) Bad night (3143)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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  (516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. http://tfl.nu/uxcc
  Replies (60) Good night (8335) Bad night (1727)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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  (828): i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby http://tfl.nu/ihl1
  Replies (10) Good night (2619) Bad night (735)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (678) Bad night (5220)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.

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  (856): 2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over. http://tfl.nu/sc8m
  Replies (8) Good night (3721) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..

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  (781): i just added no after every hockey player in my phone.. http://tfl.nu/mdhx
  Replies (13) Good night (2286) Bad night (1061)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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  (909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i
  Replies (5) Good night (452) Bad night (1789)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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  (224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h
  Replies (57) Good night (1522) Bad night (2569)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.

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  (248): Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible. http://tfl.nu/imqp
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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  (301): I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo http://tfl.nu/z0dg
  Replies (2) Good night (1267) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can give you five reasons its your baby

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.

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  (508): I can give you five reasons its your baby (978): and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl. http://tfl.nu/cjus
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you offer her some?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If only. Current status: Not that clever.

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  (330): Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully. (440): Did you offer her some? (330): If only. Current status: Not that clever. http://tfl.nu/au9g
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (279)

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