Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray

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  (614): The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray http://tfl.nu/ggtu
  Replies (7) Good night (3034) Bad night (609)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2790) Bad night (685)
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  (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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  (805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a
  Replies (5) Good night (1051) Bad night (1977)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

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  (651): He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler. http://tfl.nu/6sno
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (1470)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.

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  (409): i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes. http://tfl.nu/ajvi
  Replies (3) Good night (1327) Bad night (646)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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  (937): The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night... http://tfl.nu/fmz0
  Replies (4) Good night (1145) Bad night (501)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.

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  (360): I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina. http://tfl.nu/nx7q
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (469)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

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  (480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (377)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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  (616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u
  Replies (8) Good night (1661) Bad night (366)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (726) Bad night (340)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her

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  (843): Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her http://tfl.nu/v0qt
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (317)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house

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  (214): Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house http://tfl.nu/mqs8
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (338)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I was just power-washing my vagina.

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  (541): Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay? (1-541): I was just power-washing my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mkkk
  Replies (8) Good night (1366) Bad night (309)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

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  (219): That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/gqrn
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (482)
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  (884): View more from

  My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second

  (212): View more from New York

  Hashtag Pathetic

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  (884): My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second (212): Hashtag Pathetic http://tfl.nu/iglt
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (256)

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