I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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