oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
