Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I bet he comes in French.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector