Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it

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  (631): fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it http://tfl.nu/tjsq
  Replies (4) Good night (2096) Bad night (896)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

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  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (1079) Bad night (5569)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (2867)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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  (502): so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one http://tfl.nu/ezfm
  Replies (11) Good night (4482) Bad night (530)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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  (832): Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house. http://tfl.nu/g0ik
  Replies (13) Good night (7276) Bad night (773)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.

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  (814): I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up. http://tfl.nu/mktj
  Replies (19) Good night (6008) Bad night (2233)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

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  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5457) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.

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  (913): The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off. http://tfl.nu/h8iv
  Replies (20) Good night (2463) Bad night (1466)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am

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  (605): im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am http://tfl.nu/dc3c
  Replies (9) Good night (3315) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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  (847): Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa http://tfl.nu/xcft
  Replies (2) Good night (2157) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

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  (712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2510) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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  (716): Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them. http://tfl.nu/pe21
  Replies (9) Good night (2249) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (820) Bad night (5454)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting

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  (423): Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting http://tfl.nu/waaj
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

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  (216): just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin. http://tfl.nu/vhdg
  Replies (10) Good night (266) Bad night (455)

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