Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

(248): View more from Michigan

Perfect. Like where your heads at

(906): View more from Michigan

By relax I mean have sex

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(817): View more from Texas

So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.

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(636): View more from Missouri

maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".

(781): View more from Massachusetts

It was only one, it doesn't count.

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(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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(519): View more from Ontario

can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

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(917): View more from New York City

I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.

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