you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
