physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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