I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
and she was petting her beer can
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
