The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
