thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
