The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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