I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
