my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
