I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
