Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We talked him into tasing himself.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
