Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
