Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize