i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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