I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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