FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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