can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
