Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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