grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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