I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
