Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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