I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
