I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize