Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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